The past week has been a semi-dream like phase for me. I lost someone very close to me, and its affected me more than I had anticipated.

As a result, I don't feel like myself. It was apparent when I was upsetting my friends, and not making sense at all to my colleagues and bosses. As if there's some barrier between them and I which warps what I do/say into something uncharactistic of me. Case in point: I almost made someone cry at work today. This is from the guy who helps his elderly neighbours with carrying their trash out or would happily run an errand for someone who could do with a hand.

Snappy, blunt, agressive, inarticulate, obtrusive.. does that sound like the guy you know? Makes me think that my brain has diverted 95% of its resources to a task that it didn't tell me about. I mentioned to someone last night (or maybe the night before) that I feel like I'm not the guy everyone knows, just someone doing a bad impression. I'm quite desperate to do something that will convince everyone that I'm still me, but I never show desperation and thus voids anything I can do to prove my identity. If that doesn't make sense, my apologies.

I've barely eaten the past few days too, seeming to survive on a diet of juice, coffee, protien bars and the wonderful works of Alfonso Gugliucci. Ok so the last one is music and technically not a physical consumable.

Its really not funny, and yet I'm chuckling away at it. I've always come out for the better in hard times, and I'm sure I will again this time as I know what I need... The understanding and support of my friends. Don't look so shocked, I know I rarely accept help and I'll put myself through hell so I can deal with problems on my own.. but this time is different. If I'm going to be myself again, I'll need to be shown who to be.

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In other Art news, I've stuck up a new sketch. Yes, another provocative image of a girl. What can I say, I love females. Click here: [link]

I'm also working on a secret cosplay, some of you may know what it is. Don't spill anything here, I intend to keep this one close to my chest. However if anyone knows how to make half decent props in a fast way, let me know.

And lastly regarding my Scar cosplay.. Although my shaved arms look nice and muscular, the razor burn is really annoying and quite scarring (HAH, irony). I'm not sure I'll cosplay scar in the future, if it means shaving arms again. As soon as I can get the images from ~JDWasabi I'll whack them up here.

Now, I must get back to work.

Ciao

~Jae